ENCHANTÉ – One Hundred Days
Fred and I sat at a cocktail bar on the Champs Elysées in Paris talking with Napoléon. He had agreed to a four hundred thousand dollar fee to come back from hiding and talk to us about his one hundred days. Our funding was sponsored by anonymous Wall Street backers.
“Mr. Napoléon, thank you for being here. It’s a pleasure seeing you again after we dumped our history books.”
“The pleasure is mine,” Napoléon said. “It’s pretty boring up there in St. Héléna. This comeback gave me the opportunity to frolic with Robert Branson on one of his Virgin Islands. As you know from history, I adore virgins. But I loved Josephine.”
Virgin and Josephine
“We do remember that, your highness”, Fred said. “We also remember you were beaten by the Russians in 1812 and sent to St. Elba. You know we still have problems with the Russians. Our opposition party says they meddled in our recent elections. What’s your view?”
“Meddling in someone else’s business has been Russia’s prime sport during the centuries. Nothing new. Remember Raspoutin? It surprised me that your opposition party kept their doors wide open for them to walk in and take all those pictures and listening in.”
“What would you have done?” I asked.
“I can’t speak for your opposition party but we solved these issues by marrying a Russian princess. Or for your opposition leader having a liaison with a Russian prince. She could have prevented all that. I heard Mr. Putin was available. He has a load of testosterone. Didn’t she give him half of your uranium? That’s a nice dowry.”
“But the opposition party is accusing the other party that it was their good relations with the Russians that made them lose the elections, ” Fred explained.
“I was also told that the losing party had fireworks planned accompanied by Tchaikowsky’s 1812 overture. That’s a major Russian piece of music and composed after they beat me. Mr. Putin may have put a stop to the music because he didn’t want to publicize his laison with the leader of the opposition party. Maybe that’s why they blame the other party now.”
“You know there’s much talk about the first one hundred days in American politics,” Fred said.
“So I’ve heard. My one hundred days coming from St. Elba seem to have gone viral once more. But as usual the American media gets it backwards. My one hundred days came at the end of my illustrious career.”
“Why do you think that 200 hundred years later this is still so important?” Fred asked.
“Because I didn’t achieve anything in those days. You remember I had my Waterloo.”
“But here in the US they want politicians to achieve everything in their first one hundred days. All the media are making that their sole news story,” I said.
“It only shows that in two hundred years you guys have learned nothing,” Napoléon said. “My final one hundred days were only meant to firm up a legacy to be remembered. As you see, I’m still remembered.”
“But here they want a list of major achievements,” Fred tried to clarify.
“Oh, I had achievements all right. I first beat the Austrians, the Prussians, the Russians. Then Wellington got me because I suffered from hemorrhoids in my saddle.”
“So what do you think of our first one hundred days?” I asked.
“The concept has been bastardized. Except warfare, you shouldn’t achieve anything serious in those days. What would you have to show for in the next one hundred days? And the next? All you have to do is sit quiet and blame your opponents for making your country look bad.”
“You think we look bad?” Fred asked.
“You sure do. Everybody in the world wants Obama back. He talked but did nothing, that’s good politics.”
“But when the monarchy took over, they banned you to St. Helena,” I recalled. “And nobody wanted you back.”
“I went there on sick leave,” Napoléon explained. “Then my premiums went through the roof, so I couldn’t pay for them anymore. Otherwise, I would’ve been back again. To fix Napoléoncare.”
“Couldn’t you use your Veterans Care? As the Commander in Chief?” Fred asked.
“I would have to ride a horse for forty kilometers before reaching a hospital or doctor. I couldn’t because of my hemorrhoids. And they couldn’t come to me because they were too busy taking care of the dying and the burying. After two hundred years, you still have the same problem in the US.”
“It seems hard to get things done in one hundred days,” Fred philosophized.
“You said it,” Napoléon agreed. “The previous reign in France gave me a mess! Think of my achievements in the fifteen-some years of my reign! Catholic religion reinstated; monks were no longer suppressed; people got their land back; I reinstated law and order, created the Napoleonic laws and established a Constitution; I modernized education and got rid of common core; I revitalized the sluggish economy and improved agriculture; I sanitized taxation, and rebuilt the military! I made France great again. Vive la France!”
“That’s impressive,” Fred said. “Did you copy that from the Trump Administration?”
“You got your timeline wrong. The Trump Administration copied it from me.”
“How did you do all that?” I asked
“Executive orders, my friend. If they weren’t executed, I executed the non-executors.”
“I wish we had that system here,” Fred said. “Too many chefs in the kitchen and half of them don’t even know how to cook a simple omelet without breaking eggs.”
“Do you think America needs a border wall?” I asked.
“I solved that differently. I conquered my neighbors left and right and made them my soldiers. That’s how I got rid of them.”
“What’s your advice to America now?”
“Ask your Democrats to hire me. They need a leader. At four hundred thousand dollars a consultation I’m cheap.”
The Interview
and 
and Kathryn from Omaha TV
Kathryn of Omaha TV is on, Mars TV is connected, and Mars Man is with Barack Husain Obama in Honolulu in an undisclosed location under a coconut tree.
Kathryn: Go ahead, Mars Man, you are on!
Mars Man: Thank you, Kathryn. Viewers, we are here with the US President hiding in Hawai. Dear Mr. President, how does it feel to be on eternal vacation in your homeland?
BHO: I take the Fifth.
Mars Man: Excuse me, sir, but you are not in Congress. You can speak freely here, no fear. Your obedient servants in America must’ve felt that they needed that new car smell you talked about.
BHO: They’re misguided. My smell is pretty good. Just got half a gallon of aged Old Spice on sale in the drugstore. As for my eternal vacation, that’s in the eye of the beholder. Eric Holder will get me back soon.
Mars Man: But Holder has also been deposed.
BHO: He will find a subtle way, as he did with Fast and Furious. And there is still the Executive Order. And I have my pen and phone. And I still have a free Obama phone, and if they take that away, I have a few boxes of them left in my wine cellar here.
Mars Man: You must’ve heard that John Kerry went to Paris to apologize for your absence at the World Rally in Paris and that he was accompanied by a singer totally unknown in France nobody could hear.
BHO: We tried Beyoncé, but the Military blocked her from going. Joe Biden was willing, but he sings false.
Mars Man: You must feel pretty impoverished here in your new hiding space.
BHO: It’s no different from the White House. We were pretty broke, anyway. And have a lot of debt.
Mars Man: Something on the order of nineteen plus trillion, we hear. That’s a great legacy.
BHO: The same as other Presidents. Bill and Hillary were dead poor when they left. That freaky Bush had to sell his football club to pay off his. I’ll just write another book and get my money back.
Mars Man: Hillary’s publisher lost millions on hers.
BHO: Sure, but she kept the ten million dollar advance. I can write and speak a lot about my legacy, and they’re willing to pay me high fees in the millions, dwarfing Hillary’s extra fees for nonsense speeches about how poor she was. I grew up in the ghettos of Nairobi and Jakarta. I can talk about my birth certificate. Best hoax ever.
Mars Man: What legacy would you speak of?
BHO: I have many. Take Obamacare. Carries my name. Historical. Fast and Furious. To rub that silly nose of Arizona Sherriff Joe Arpaio in it. IRS Audits of those wealthy Republicans that yielded a lot of money from unlawful Cayman tax shelters, and stopped those subversive Tea Party extremists. Worth at least ten speeches at a million a pop.
Mars Man: But your Democrat party lost the elections.
BHO: You’re wrong. We won. Two-thirds didn’t vote because they supported my policies.
Mars Man: But the Republicans have the majority in Congress thanks to voters not supporting your policies.
BHO: All rubbish. What Republicans? They always cave when I raise my finger or call on Sharpton to blackmail them. Why do we need a Republican party anyway? One party, the Democrats, is good enough. Would save the taxpayers a lot of money.
Mars Man: What are the many other legacies?
BHO: Stopping the Keystone pipeline. After all, I have a lot of shares in Buffett’s railcars transporting oil. Solar energy, called Obamasun. Millions of acres covered with solar panels. All made in China. Biofuels. Windmill farms.
Mars Man: But we are told Solyndra went bankrupt with five hundred million taxpayer money gone down the drain, the electrical car got busted, and wind farms kill the American Eagle, your treasured national symbol.
BHO: In any war, be it drones or fossil fuels, we face collateral damage. An unintended consequence we shall have to accept as the cost of doing business. As for the national symbol, too bad for the bird, but Obama’s face would be good enough, especially because it’s black. And black is beautiful.
Mars Man: Benghazi was a major failure of your Administration. Four brave Americans dead among which your Ambassador. Why was that poopoed by your underlings?
BHO: I’ve said many times before that Benghazi was Hillary’s Department. I can’t help her three o’clock phone was off the hook. I tried my best to help her out by sending Susan around the Sunday shows and because Susan loves me she did a fabulous job. Everyone believed she told the truth, as we always do.
Mars Man: But you said you could keep your doctor, your insurance plan and pay much less premium, and none of that proved true.
BHO: That’s old hat. We’ve explained all that. Sometimes the truth is better not told.
Mars Man: What is your view on Trumps’s take-over of your Government?
BHO: It’s illegitimate. They won’t get away with it. My underlings have launched an appeal to the High Court.
Mars Man: Judge Roberts may not be as friendly to you this time as he was with Obamacare. Both of you seem to have peculiar views on what is legitimate. But the way we see it on Mars, things will be a lot better in the USA, even the world. Your trillion foreign debts are going to be paid off; demonstrations will stop, and Russia and China will shut up. The IRS will be abolished, and taxes will be greatly reduced. Americans believe in themselves again. People say they’re relieved not to see you on TV anymore with your hands wobbling while you’re running down the steps of Air Force One.
BHO: Don’t ridicule my daily exercise. I can’t play golf all the time. As for Russia, we made rubble of it. China needs our money for our Solyndra panels. Iran will get their bomb regardless, so why bother. Not even the military can do anything about that. It will put the Shiites and the Sunni Muslims on a level playing field. Israel has the bomb already, so why not Saudi Arabia, too.
Mars Man: People on Mars are glad we are away far enough when it all blows up.
BHO: That’s how it is said in the Scripts: doomsday is here. I said I would fundamentally transform America and I did. Even the world. You can’t take that away from me. That’s my greatest legacy. I have to go back to Michelle now. She promised me a dinner of suckling pig if I voted for her Senate seat.
Mars Man: Fair enough, Mr. President. Greetings from Mars…..
The TV screen goes blank because a bomb went off somewhere. We are trying to fix the connection.
The Dumb Electorate – Let the Platitudes Begin
Mars Man to Mars TV: Viewers, we are on with the latest on Mother Earth. Our panel is in place. The first candidates for the 2016 US Presidential Election have announced.
The banalities have started. We will take our country back. We will roll back this and that. We will preserve America. We will tell the truth and not hide e-mails. We are disciplined, hard work, service, looking after YOUR wellbeing. And so be it. Dear panel, your views? Let me start with Elmer, our foremost political analyst.
Elmer: It is so boring. That Clinton women puts me to sleep. She walks like a peacock heaving her chest. Promising and promising what she never does herself. What do people want?
Huda: But I like peacocks, they are so peaceful in the park.
Shamus: Ever seen them when they get mad? They storm at you screaming like yelling firebrands and throw a lamp at your face if their wings can get a hold of one.
Pasha: But it would be so nice to have a woman president. That motherly smile when you wake up and go to bed, rockydee baby rockedee boo. Just imagine, three o’ clock and no nightmares anymore.
Huda: Yeah, much better than that smile of Ted Cruz. It’s so awful, it gives me the creeps. And he speaks without a teleprompter. That current president sleeps with one in his bed. No room for Michelle anymore. What a difference that would make. You can always make up something without a teleprompter. The current fellow never lies because his teleprompter shuts off when he does, at least that’s what the user manual says.
Talma: They must have disabled that device then. I have never seen an eight year American Presidency on Mother Earth with so many lies and so much division. That teleprompter must be made in China, like all stuff on Mother Earth. Only the Russian teleprompters are truthful by comparison. At least there they say what they mean and do what they say.
Pasha: Remember that Russian Reset Button that Clinton gave them with that big smile? The Russians made Russian dolls of it and every time you pick it up another doll pops up and screams “Njet!”
Mars Man: Any idea who wins the American elections this time?
Elmer: I hope it is not Clinton because she would continue the Obama ruin of America and may encourage the Russians and Chinese to come to Mars. She has only played politics and run nothing but the state department although she was never there. Even during Benghazi she was somewhere nobody wants to talk about, and she destroyed all her relevant government emails. But nobody bothers, because she is a woman and must be treated with respect that males don’t get.
Shamus: If I were an American, I would elect somebody with steel in his blood and no nonsense talk. Like that General Petraeus. But the American general electorate has a negative IQ and only wants celebrities, like a first black or a first woman, like their soaps, without thinking what harm their administrations will do to their country.
Talma: Would nobody care for somebody to get America back on its feet? After all, it’s the only country that once was considered exceptional. Six years of Obama have completely obliterated that.
Huda: I would vote for Jeb. He has gravitas in his face and can correct what the other Bushes did wrong. And he speaks Spanish with a Hispanic accent, so he can relate to the Spanish speaking part of the USA. Grows by the day. Only problem is that most of these newcomers are illiterate, even in Spanish. They might just vote for Clinton when she hollers I will give you more dinero. Because that’s the only English they understand. Her husband says she can scream very loud.
Pasha: I would like Carla Fiorina better. There’s a woman who knows how to manage. Got from secretary to the top of Hewlett Packard. Biggest merger ever, with Compact. She can put that Clinton ten times in her pocket. And she will know how to deal with that Obamacare computer that goes flat whenever you have a heart attack or tummy cramps.
Mars Man: So far, nobody has taken a stand on something substantial, like the religious murders and ethnic cleansing that is going on in the Middle East. Media and people in America raise their voices in a huge chorus and destroy property for racial issues on the street but I see no protest marches about these religious murders, Christians, Jews, all over again. That current man in the white house only talks about the Crusades and how bad Christians were then, one thousand years ago. But Muslims were bad then too and killed thousands because they did not want to convert. That’s why the Crusaders went in, and that Husain fellow does not want to say that’s what they should do again. Only that Wisconsin governor has made a comment that the Iran deal is a bad one and that he would screw it back.
Huda: Yeah, but he is only a governor.
Talma: So? At least he stopped the socialists, moved the state from red into black, and was twice re-elected.
Elmer: So was the current socialist tenant of the white house, and he increased the debt by more than all former presidents combined, did nothing to get the economy going, still tepid after six years of stimulus and what have you, and a substantial decline in the labor participation rate. They say that unemployment is 5.5 percent but actual unemployment is 10.6 percent.
Pasha: Thus, by your rationale, those state elections are not comparable to national elections?
Elmer: Exactly, because at the national level the dumb electorate is exponentially bigger and is supported by the national media that lives on them.
Mars Man: In other words, hold your breath. That’s a fearful outlook for the USA and Mother Earth.
Dear viewers, see you next time.
The Interview
and
and Kathryn from Omaha TV
Kathryn of Omaha TV is on, Mars TV is connected, and Mars Man is with Barack Husain Obama in Honolulu in an undisclosed location under a coconut tree.
Kathryn: Go ahead, Mars Man, you are on!
Mars Man: Thank you, Kathryn. Viewers, we are here with the US President hiding in Hawai. Dear Mr. President, how does it feel to be on eternal vacation in your homeland?
BHO: I take the Fifth.
Mars Man: Excuse me, sir, but you are not in Congress. You can speak freely here, no fear. Your obedient servants in America must’ve felt that they needed that new car smell you talked about a bit earlier than you expected.
BHO: They’re misguided. My smell is pretty good. Just got half a gallon of aged Old Spice on sale in the drugstore. As for my eternal vacation, that’s in the eye of the beholder. Eric Holder will get me back soon.
Mars Man: But Holder has also been deposed.
BHO: He will find a subtle way, as he did with Fast and Furious. And there is still the Executive Order. And I have my pen and phone. And I still have a free Obama phone, and if they take that away, I have a few boxes of them left in my wine cellar here.
Mars Man: You must’ve heard that John Kerry went to Paris to apologize for your absence at the World Rally in Paris and that he was accompanied by a singer totally unknown in France nobody could hear.
BHO: We tried Beyoncé, but the Military blocked her from going. Joe Biden was willing, but he sings false.
Mars Man: You must feel pretty impoverished here in your new hiding space.
BHO: It’s no different from the White House. We were pretty broke, anyway. And have a lot of debt.
Mars Man: Something on the order of nineteen plus trillion, we hear. That’s a great legacy.
BHO: The same as other Presidents. Bill and Hillary were dead poor when they left. That freaky Bush had to sell his football club to pay off his. I’ll just write another book and get my money back.
Mars Man: Hillary’s publisher lost millions on hers.
BHO: Sure, but she kept the ten million dollar advance. I can write and speak a lot about my legacy, and they’re willing to pay me high fees in the millions, dwarfing Hillary’s extra fees for nonsense speeches about how poor she was. I grew up in the ghettos of Nairobi and Jakarta. I can talk about my birth certificate. Best hoax ever.
Mars Man: What legacy would you speak of?
BHO: I have many. Take Obamacare. Carries my name. Historical. Fast and Furious. To rub that silly nose of Arizona Sherriff Joe Arpaio in it. IRS Audits of those wealthy Republicans that yielded a lot of money from unlawful Cayman tax shelters, and stopped those subversive Tea Party extremists. Worth at least ten speeches at a million a pop.
Mars Man: But your Democrat party lost the elections.
BHO: You’re wrong. We won. Two-thirds didn’t vote because they supported my policies.
Mars Man: But the Republicans have the majority in Congress thanks to voters not supporting your policies.
BHO: All rubbish. What Republicans? They always cave when I raise my finger or call on Sharpton to blackmail them. Why do we need a Republican party anyway? One party, the Democrats, is good enough. Would save the taxpayers a lot of money.
Mars Man: What are the many other legacies?
BHO: Stopping the Keystone pipeline. After all, I have a lot of shares in Buffett’s railcars transporting oil. Solar energy, called Obamasun. Millions of acres covered with solar panels. All made in China. Biofuels. Windmill farms.
Mars Man: But we are told Solyndra went bankrupt with five hundred million taxpayer money gone down the drain, the electrical car got busted, and wind farms kill the American Eagle, your treasured national symbol.
BHO: In any war, be it drones or fossil fuels, we face collateral damage. An unintended consequence we shall have to accept as the cost of doing business. As for the national symbol, too bad for the bird, but Obama’s face would be good enough, especially because it’s black. And black is beautiful.
Mars Man: Benghazi was a major failure of your Administration. Four brave Americans dead among which your Ambassador. Why was that poopoed by your underlings?
BHO: I’ve said many times before that Benghazi was Hillary’s Department. I can’t help her three o’clock phone was off the hook. I tried my best to help her out by sending Susan around the Sunday shows and because Susan loves me she did a fabulous job. Everyone believed she told the truth, as we always do.
Mars Man: But you said you could keep your doctor, your insurance plan and pay much less premium, and none of that proved true.
BHO: That’s old hat. We’ve explained all that. Sometimes the truth is better not told.
Mars Man: What is your view on Trumps’s take-over of your Government?
BHO: It’s illegitimate. They won’t get away with it. My underlings have launched an appeal to the High Court.
Mars Man: Judge Roberts may not be as friendly to you this time as he was with Obamacare. Both of you seem to have peculiar views on what is legitimate. But the way we see it on Mars, things will be a lot better in the USA, even the world. Your trillion foreign debts are going to be paid off; demonstrations will stop, and Russia and China will shut up. The IRS will be abolished, and taxes will be greatly reduced. Americans believe in themselves again. People say they’re relieved not to see you on TV anymore with your hands wobbling while you’re running down the steps of Air Force One.
BHO: Don’t ridicule my daily exercise. I can’t play golf all the time. As for Russia, we made rubble of it. China needs our money for our Solyndra panels. Iran will get their bomb regardless, so why bother. Not even the military can do anything about that. It will put the Shiites and the Sunni Muslims on a level playing field. Israel has the bomb already, so why not Saudi Arabia, too.
Mars Man: People on Mars are glad we are away far enough when it all blows up.
BHO: That’s how it is said in the Scripts: doomsday is here. I said I would fundamentally transform America and I did. Even the world. You can’t take that away from me. That’s my greatest legacy. I have to go back to Michelle now. She promised me a dinner of suckling pig if I voted for her Senate seat.
Mars Man: Fair enough, Mr. President. Greetings from Mars…..
The TV screen goes blank because a bomb went off somewhere. We are trying to fix the connection.
The Criminal Self-in-the-Foot Shooters
with
and
In spite of inordinate spatial static, due to North Korean and Chinese Cyberspace warring, Omaha TV was able to line up with Mars City TV, and Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms is on air.
Kathryn: Dear viewers, given the overwhelming reactions on this week’s events on Planet Earth, we have an extended panel today for our discussions. Foremost, it seems America is under heavy attack from its own citizens. World-wide many commentators are joining the fray. Let me start with Mars. Can you see and hear us right?
Mars Man: We can see everything thanks to your infallible Transport Authority Exray see-through machine we have installed at our Mars Orbit.
Kathryn: Great, but please don’t leak copies on the Internet. What are your views on the already infamous CIA report released by the Democratic party?
Mars Man: America seems in a free fall. What’s happening to what they once called the greatest country on Planet Earth? In 2001, everyone was up in arms about the heinous attack on the Trade Center Towers; close to 3000 people lost their lives in the most cruel circumstances and the economy was blown apart for years. Leaders said we will get them alive or death. Everyone agreed on the CIA to do its heroic work. Only because they checked into that Feinstein senator’s computer when she was apparently preparing false information, and revengeful because they lost the mid-term elections so badly, was this one-sided report released. Shooting yourself in the foot at the cost of national security is a criminal act on Mars.
Kathryn: There is a growing backlash here on the report and the ominous timing of its publication, notably at the same time that the congressional hearing with that professor Gruber about his involvement in Obamacare was scheduled. Just trying to remove it from the evening news. Is this opinion shared on Mars?
Shamus Econometricus: Fully. The Democrat President did not do anything to stop its publication and showed again his prevalence for stating endlessly that it was all Bush’s fault. At the same time he blew a huge hole in his country’s credibility. Even on Mars we are losing it. As Mars Man said, under the Mars Constitution, this is a criminal act and we would put that type of politicians in permanent solitary confinement in our jail on the Moon, with only broccoli and raw carrots as daily sustenance, and left overs from the International Space Station.
Huda Seksibombah: I wish that that lady Feinstein had worn some more appropriate clothes than that grandma outfit for the occasion of her incomprehensible speech. Funeral attire would definitely have been more becoming.
Kathryn: I’d think so too. I see Elmer is back on the Mars TV panel. How are you? What do you think of all this?
Elmer: America was the last standing tree on Mother Earth. All others have lost their leaves or are growing old and tired and losing limbs, and those religious fanatics from the Middle Ages keep cutting them down. My professor in economics said, invite a group of sheep to mow your lawn and before you know it, it’s a desert what’s left. American liberals are the same. They seem to think they don’t deserve American good life and are out to destroy it so they become like the desert to get a level playing field. As we can see from Mars, the Nevada desert has steadily grown and is already occupying a good deal of Southern California. The President and his party are guilty of climate change.
Kathryn: That sounds clear enough, but what does that to the report? Bob Demmofool, I’m sure you have an opinion?
Bob: Through all the years we have known that the CIA was a subversive agency. The “Ugly American” was born in that joint. The report only confirms what we already knew.
Kathryn: But don’t you feel happy that they caught Osama, and that the other terrorists are behind bars?
Bob: They could’ve found them with electronics, or send a drone in to finish them off.
Fred Miserable: What electronics? How would you find them, with your I-phone? Democrat liberals are also complaining about NASA’s phone-tapping. What do you guys really want? Friendship with your enemy and drinking sweet tea? Isn’t that what cowards do because they are afraid to fight for their existence?
Bob: America is supposed to be a good country, an exceptional country, and we are not supposed to respond with evil but with the dove of peace. Your senator McCain said the same thing and he’s from the Old Hanoi Hotel in Vietnam where he suffered from the cruelty that we’re not supposed to commit. Feinstein was right to bring that into the open.
Charles Hammerschmidt: This Administration pretends that America is NOT exceptional, so how do you want it to be exceptional by bowing to its enemies? Isn’t that the pinnacle of hypocrisy? It’s the same thing as with that CIA Report, criminal self-in-the-foot shooters.
Mars Man: Here on Mars we don’t like traitors, even if they think they are doing good. Your liberals are misguided, to use an euphemism. The enemies of Europe and America don’t know what a dove of peace looks like. They laugh at you. Before you know it, you’ll wear a scarf around your head and bow five times to Mecca in one day, and have to do hard labor on a date farm.
Bob: But I could finally have more than one wife!
Paul Turnmeon: That’s where I see a possible Democrat and Republican compromise!
Kathryn: Don’t hold your breath. You’d have additional mothers-in-law, too. Could we get back to the other subject of today, that is the colossal arrogance of that professor Gruber on Obamacare? The American electorate is stupid, so just pretend you are doing it right while you are doing it wrong, in the name of non-transparency of the all-time transparent Administration. That was the apparent mantra. Any views on this?
Bob: If I may, Kathryn, it’s incorrect to interpret this as the policy behind Obamacare. The professor was only blabbing his mouth but nobody in the Democratic Party or the White House paid any attention to this, as Madame Pelosi and the President confirmed.
Fred: Come on Bob, use your senses. You really believe these people? We have to vote for it so that we know what’s in it? 2,700 pages of gobbledygook? Who can read that, let alone understand it? You can keep your doctor, your plan, and pay two thousand five hundred dollars less premium, and none of that proved true? What Gruber said is that they shouldn’t be transparent because if they were that bill would never pass. The stupid voter wouldn’t understand they were being had. Why do you guys think you lost the elections?
Bob: 47 million uninsured people will have access to health insurance. Beat that!
Charles: You must have lost your wisdom tooth, Bob. So far they haven’t insured even 7 million people what the President said they had achieved, and that figure was bloated when they had to admit that it included 400,000 dental plans. And no good analyst has ever been able to figure how they arrived at 47 million uninsured. That was based on soap bubbles, too. This Administration was built on lies from the election campaign on, and it has never stopped lying. And then they claim that the President was misinformed. That Gruber professor visited the White House more than twenty times and met with the President in the same room. Maybe he wasn’t listening like he said he did when he sat in the amen corner praying with Reverend Jeremiah Wright?
Paul Turnmeon: And if you say anything about that you’re a racist!
Kathryn: As our viewers on Mars may notice, there isn’t much that we can agree on in America.
Shamus: But your Supreme Court said the law was constitutional. Why can’t Americans just leave it alone?
Huda: Telling nuns that they must pay for contraceptives cannot be constitutional, not even on Mars. Especially as nuns don’t do it.
Elmer: As I see it, that Justice Roberts was right in calling it a tax, but I heard that professor Gruber didn’t want to call it a tax because then it wouldn’t pass. He called it a penalty. So, if that Justice Roberts knew it was a scheme, why did he call it constitutional? Lying in America cannot be constitutional, can it?
Fred: Right on, Elmer, if it quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it is a duck.
Mars Man: Maybe you should give Obamacare a different name? Wackocare might do?
Kathryn: We’ll submit that to the White House. All right, dear viewers, I don’t think we got anywhere, and we will surely come back to these issues in our next sessions. Have a good one!