Washington Dances the Cakewalk
with 
and
Kathryn of Omaha TV
Omaha TV’s Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms Show is on and millions of viewers tune in.
Kathryn: Hello, dear viewers, my husband Mars Man is here with us on the occasion of the elections in the USA and we have the fortitude of receiving him in our studio today together with our beloved panel: Paul Turnmeon, Fred Miserable, Bob Demmofool, Charlene Knowitall, Marlene Femenazi and Henriette Forgetmenot. Mars Man, your views on the American election results.
Mars Man: “Like rain in space. Incredible. I heard that the tenant in the Whitehouse climbed the fence, but on the way out, not to be seen again. Like the Halloween scene we reported last week.”
Kathryn: “What do you think of the American two-party system? Does it work?”
Mars Man: “As good as a worn-out couple in bed. Adultery is the only option for survival.”
Kathryn: “But with whom can they commit adultery?”
Mars Man: “They should call back the Founding Fathers for a transformation of America. Clearly, the one advocated by the current tenant of the White House was an outright aberration. I told you that six years ago, but no one wanted to believe me, and some others, who raised the red flag.”
Kathryn: “But what transformation should the Founding Fathers consider?”
Mars Man: “Try the parliamentary system. The Presidential system lures people to the job who bank on their smiles and populist manners, but are not competent or honest. The system puts too much power into the executive branch and turns it too much into a bully pulpit. In the parliamentary system you can issue a vote of no-confidence and throw the bums out and put your own bums in before the election period is over. That’s what we do on Mars.”
Kathryn: “Well, Bob Demmofool, you think that’s the solution?”
Bob: “This is the biggest bull –beep — I’ve ever heard. The parliamentary system allows multiple parties into the chambers and leads to complete cacophony. No continuity, continuous fights, nothing gets done. America needs a one party system and that should obviously be the Democrats to avoid today’s gridlock.”
Fred Miserable: “WTF – beep! I beg to disagree. In Europe, you have all sorts of parties that have a voice, and here those different voices get shut up by the majority leaders in the Senate or the House. Let’s split up the democratic party, for example. All your moderate democrats have been rooted out and replaced by leftist socialists, environmental fascists, crony capitalists, and professional healthcare liars, and you want to amplify that into a one party system?”
Marlene Femenazi: “This is all chicken — beep! We have enough of all these fuddy-duddy roosters talking big and do nothing but jumping on our backs. What we need is matriarchal management. The guys have made a complete mess of it. I only want to see skirts or female pants on TV, that is, without zippers that fly open in public and cause sexist havoc. The Wonder Woman Party would do fine.”
Charlene Knowitall: “BS-beep! If you put two women together you have a fight. Put a whole party of them together and you have a war on women.”
Henriette Forgetmenot: “Mars Man is right. We need a multi-party system. Like marriage is out the door, it’s more fun to lie in bed with multi-parties.”
Fred Miserable: “Let’s put a name to today’s so-called Democrats: the Communist Party because that’s what it is. Totally transformed. In a multi-party system, you could also have a Social Democrat party like in Germany, a Labor Party like in the UK or a Boer Koekoek party in Holland. On the Republican side, you can have a Libertarian Party like Le Pen in France, a Christian Democratic party like in Germany or Holland, and a Conservative Party in the UK. Each party gets the votes they deserve and the lead party forms the government, if necessary with opposing parties if they didn’t get a full majority, and they select a prime minister. And you do not have to wait four let alone eight years to get rid of him or her. Most importantly, they cannot govern by fiat or executive order.”
Bob Demmofool: “SOB! I wish we would’ve had that when Bush was president!”
Fred Miserable: “You see! You agree when you see it’s to your advantage. SOB!”
Kathryn: “Ladies and gentleman, let’s pipe down! Mars Man, your idea of inviting the Founding Fathers back to life is causing some friction. Did we forget something we should think about?”
Mars Man: “Yes. Immigration. An issue hotly debated on Mars. We don’t like invaders. We have invited that visionary gentleman from Holland, Gilders to come and speak. Also that charming lady from France Michelle le Pen. Joe Arpaio of Arizona has already signed on. Jan Brewer, Governor of Arizona, as well. We have installed a hermetic shield around Mars and everyone will be bounced back to where they came from regardless of whether they perish in space.”
Bob Demmofool:” WTF! How are you going to grow your party’s base? You won’t be able to maintain your majority.”
Marlene Femenazi: “That’s what we should have in the USA: a system to keep all the men out and do away with those inside. Now that the Supreme Court is supporting same-sex, we can finally throw the bums out and do it alone.”
Paul Turnmeon: “I can recommend you a crony capitalist who can provide you solar-energy operated cucumbers for half the price. He got half a billion tax-funded government loan.”
Kathryn: Ladies and gentleman, again, tone it down unless you want the FCC to denominate this an X-rated show and we would lose our advertisers. Mars Man, a last comment please before we close. “
Mars Man: Oh, yes, thanks. What does WTF mean?”
Kathryn: “Dear viewers, that was all for today, come back next time!”
Spooky Washington
In collaboration with
Your reporters of the Views of a Foreigner have seen a lot of Mother Earth, but nothing surprises them more than Washington D.C., as overheard on a terrace overlooking the Potomac in Georgetown.
“I’m happy that NASA has stopped roaming Mars because the White House has blown its budget with broccoliramacare,” Mars Man said, “but using Russian rockets to power supplies to the International Space Station really beats me. No wonder they explode; they run on vodka.”
“And then to know that your Space Scooter One runs on purified sublimated ethanol,” the other reporter said. “Did you ever tell them?”
batrooney.wordrpess.com
“Of course I did, as a friendly gesture from Mars, but they don’t want to listen to me because I don’t belong to their crony capitalist club.”
“But you are not against further space exploration, are you?” the reporter asked.
“As long as it is done within reason and not to submit other cultures living in space to the follies of Mother Earth. Americans were good going to the moon because nobody lives there, and I have no issue with sending space shuttles to do scientific research and experiments. But since the White House started firing up Air-Force one instead, they have only been polluting the air, something their government is always lamenting about. Now Americans have to pay 70 million dollars to get a seat on a Russian space craft. Don’t you think Americans find this humiliating?”
www.cleveland.com
“Mars Man, looking at TV and the newspapers, Americans are mostly concerned about getting or keeping their jobs or getting them back, if ever, and keeping illegals and that crazy disease from West Africa outside their borders. They are least concerned about some Russian astronauts in the Space Station getting their vodka resupplied.”
“So, what would an American do when someone of higher authority came to their door asking for either of two things: one, you must pay one hundred dollars to fire up Air Force One or two, get audited by the IRS?’
“Get audited by the IRS, I suppose, because Americans haven’t got any money left anyway. And there is a good chance that the IRS computers have lost their tax return. They paid close to one hundred million in refunds to dead people.”
“Holy Halloween!” Mars Man exclaimed. “When you look at that White House it seems more and more like a haunted castle in this dark fall weather. Does anyone live there? Is that what these fence jumpers want to find out?”
pixgood.com
“According to my sources, it appears that the main tenant is always out campaigning and his spouse has been forced to do the same because nobody likes him anymore. The kids are left alone with the disappointed Obama Girl, eating veggies from the yard.”
“Why is the White House so silent about what they plan to do?” Mars Man asked. “Everything seems postponed until after the elections. Don’t they have to come clean? On Mars everybody is given a blackboard with the main promises to vote for and then check it off.”
www.pinterest.com vote for Lazaro 1 vote for Lazaro 2
“Don’t try to understand American politics, Mars. It all boils down to whether your baseball cap says it’s made in Honduras, China or the USA, the wife is a man eater and has the constitutional right to beat up her spouse and demand equal pay, and if a black congressman is black enough.”
“What about the economy, their paycheck, illegals, health premiums, and those islamofacists?” Mars Man asked, sounding perplexed.
“Again, according to my sources — which are based on official leaks from czars you see hiding behind the burning curtains — when the main tenant returns from campaigning, he will rule by ball pen order and cellphone, and only on domestic politics to reset his failing legacy.”
“Ball pen order?” Mars Man’s mouth hung open for at least a minute, stupefied. “What’s that?”
“Sort of executive fiat, or executive order, emperor-like. Something that was done in Europe in the Middle Ages,” the reporter clarified, seemingly not expecting that Mars Man would understand a iota of that.
www.dailymail.co.uk courtesy Andrew Jewson inventor Jackpen
“But didn’t they have revolutions about that in Europe?” Mars Man asked, understandably confused.
“They sure did, but all that’s forgotten here because they are not taught history in school, and if they are it is only about the Messiah who came to transform America.”
“Wouldn’t you vote against that?” Mars Man asked.
“Of course I would, but I don’t have a vote, only a green card. Besides, if a Republican votes for a Republican, a vote for a Democrat jumps out of the machine.”
“They have voter fraud in America? I thought only banana republics had that problem and that they send
former President Carter and his outfit to keep an eye on that.”
www. therealside.com courtesy Joe Messina
“I hear that they are planning to invite the Carter Institute to oversee the election here next week but since he is a Democrat it may only get worse.”
“You know that a printer on Mars was invited to bid for the manufacturing of ten million green cards? Don’t they have anybody here who can do that?”
“You see! They want to keep it secret, that’s why. As soon as the elections are over, the main tenant in the White House will give them away to illegals, on the condition that the beneficiaries vote Democrat. He says that’s better than Voter ID and it’s constitutional because he taught Constitution at Harvard.”
“But why don’t you go vote then with your green card if they mix it up at the polling station anyway?”
“Because I am a Moron.”
“Moron?”
“Somebody who votes for the Giants thinking they are Congress.”
Mars Man gave the reporter a blank stare. “What’s gone wrong with America?” he was thinking aloud.
Mars Man TV – Does Planet Earth Self-Destruct?
Kathryn of Omaha TV: “Dear audience, welcome to Omaha TV. We taped Mars Man’s interviews in New York during his recent earthly summer vacation from Mars with Dr. Hank Kisshanger, political analyst and Professor Milton Friedmayer, economist. Here we go.”
Mars Man: “Hank, we believe on Mars that Planet Earth’s situation is getting worse by the day. We see a worldwide leadership gap, US weakness, Chinese military aggressiveness and cyber war and a never ending Middle Eastern turmoil. This is increasing rogue state activity of North Korea, Iran, Syria, Hezbollah and Hamas, and islamist destruction in Pakistan and India. At the same time economic activity is declining all over. What’s your view? Is Planet Earth self-destructing?”
Hank Kisshanger: “You Martians are right on the money. People on Planet Earth are more divided than ever and splitting into rogue state governments, restless populations, wrong economic policies and failing democracies. China is becoming the yellow danger, which it was fifty years ago already but now it’s real. Unless sensible political leaders emerge to turn things around and the USA maintains its economic and military power, Planet Earth will indeed self-destruct.”
Mars Man: “Milton, what’s your view?”
Milton Friedmayer: “I cannot agree more. We are at a crucial crossroads. As has been said by many on your program before, people continue to disregard economic laws, be it in the West, China or the Far-East.”
Mars Man: “Any examples?”
Milton: “Take the USA. Some may remember from school one of economics’ basic laws and that is quote “the fallacy of the broken windows” unquote. It’s particularly relevant now with the stimulus act in 2009. Empirical economic evidence has clearly shown that repairing broken windows, using stimulus money, does not grow the economy. It only replaces what already existed and prevents the owner from using that money for something new that would improve his business. Besides, it does not repair the problem that caused the windows to break in the first place. Why did they break? Rioting? Over-regulated manufacturing producing bad glass? Windows installed by inefficient union labor?”
Mars Man: Sure, but what’s the point?”
Milton: “Buildings must close to repair the broken windows. As a result demand falls because workers in the buildings can’t earn money. So, with declining sales, businesses must let people go. If the glass had been made better or installation been more professional, the breakage would not have occurred. Now government wants to use taxpayer money to repair the windows and they call that “investment”. You see the futility?”
Mars Man: “Yes I do, but what to do instead?”
Milton: “Unless investors see measures to fix the causes of the breakage, for example stop regulating, they will not risk fresh money and employ more people. Printing and borrowing money for stimulus to pay for the window repairs does not increase demand and is no incentive for the private sector. Fearing more taxes and market instability, they will hide their money in gold or other value commodities instead. Keynesian economics to repair the windows may result in a short term push for window makers, but it’s not investment. Broader private sector incentives are needed to get the market economy going again. Printing money and increased debt will get you no more than a declining dollar or Euro and growing inflation.”
Mars Man: “What broader incentives?”
Milton: “Exactly the opposite of what the current US administration – and some others in the world – is doing: more spending and increase debt. I repeat, empirical economic evidence has amply shown that in an economic downturn, economic revival results from lowering the tax burden, lowering debts, deregulation, and increased extraction of national energy resources to lower fuel costs. Not from Keynesian government programs and spend thrift politicians. Economic revival will yield higher tax revenue by itself, no need to increase the rates, and will stimulate employment. The private sector is the engine of growth, not the Government. It’s as simple as that. It’s incomprehensible why so many politicians continually forget these simple facts or worse, want to forget them. ”
Mars Man: “Hank, as Milton says, why do socialist governments not apply these facts when they have a proven track record?”
Hank: “Because the trap of the utopian sound bite works better for them politically. Socialists want to be re-elected to maintain state power. Socialists blame the downturn on the rich because they say that the rich siphoned off the money from the poor or made bad investments that brought the economy down. For them, rich people are bad people because they make profits. Profit for socialists is the same as a red flag for a bull. Stealing from the rich through taxation –- and that includes the hard working small business man who makes 200,000 to 250,000 dollars per year employing other people -– is justified and good. They advocate spreading the wealth by having the so-called rich pay more taxes for lush but unproductive government programs for the so-called poor, to make them dependent on them and continue them in power. The large segment that doesn’t pay income taxes — some say more than 40 percent in the USA alone –- has no problem with that.”
Milton: “In the same camp you find environmentalists who want to regulate everything they think will destroy the planet based on doubtful scientific data, and without doing an objective cost-benefit analysis. They do so out of an obsession to control other people’s lives. This grinds manufacturing to a halt or increases outsourcing to other countries where these rules don’t exist, such as China. Combine these forces under an utopian leader, and you have all the ingredients for financial and economic collapse.”
Mars Man: “You think the current utopian regime in the USA will change its policies if the economy stays the same or god forbid gets worse?”
Hank: “No, because the current Presidential outlook is statism whether they want to admit it or not. In their view the government should own and produce what people need, at prices and with rules set by the Government. A free capitalist system produces what people want at prices the market determines, which includes profit for further investment. The current administration hates profit and does not want to change its philosophy.”
Mars Man: “Not even if the economic situation remains bad?”
Milton: “Obama got elected under a canopy of hope and change. Hope and change was based on utopian philosophies that had long since been proven unsuccessful, but voters got hyped by his rhetoric and now they are paying the price. The economy must add some 14 million jobs over the next three years to get back to where we were in 2006. That is some 400,000 jobs each month. We got barely 100,000 jobs recently and they pretend that recovery is on the way thanks to their good policies. It’s pure demagoguery. But despite the obvious, voters are still hyped and they give Obama the benefit of the doubt. That hype carries him along so he won’t change.”
Mars Man: “On Mars, we manage this much better. We would not elect a leader with such misleading views.”
Milton: “US voters –- and similar hopefuls around the world -– got ample evidence of Obama’s socialist beliefs but ignored them at their peril. The press played a major role in glorifying his bad policies and hiding its many pitfalls. Many of those voters are now unemployed. The virtual one party system during the first two years has increased the malaise threefold. Even though it ended up creating the conditions for divided government, it has largely succeeded. The aim is to make voters dependent so they can keep power. They will do everything in their might to succeed, whatever they say. The electorate has to choose which way it wants to live, in misery for all or prosperity with chances for all.”
Mars Man: “Will the American electorate or any electorate be smart enough to make that choice?”
Milton: “The old USSR including Gorbachev, France under Mitterrand, Britain under Harold Wilson, all proved that socialist utopian rule fails to maintain prosperity. It failed under Carter too. With these examples, conservative politicians were able to bring back the principles of the market economy, meaning limited government, strong defense, lower taxes, freedom of factors of production, supported by rational and affordable safety nets. But as soon as they reach their peak, socialist believers break it down again with class warfare because they hate production for profit. Nonetheless, profit is what keeps people employed.”
Mars Man: “Still, we don’t understand why the same mistake is made over and over again.”
Milton: “We have many young voters in the world and especially young voters have not learned their economic history. They are vulnerable to charismatic smiles and are easily receptive to the utopian dreams because they sound so good. Everybody’s equal and earns equal pay, spreading the wealth, and gets easy retirement money. They like social programs covering you from cradle to grave through higher taxes on profits leaving little room for reinvestment. The only problem is that this statist system doesn’t work: human beings need an incentive to get better and if they don’t get it they won’t try. It’s a fact of life. This has happened in Europe time after time, most recently in Greece, Spain, Portugal, and Ireland and you see where these economies have gone: to pot.”
Mars Man: “But they say that President Obama is the brightest President the USA ever had. How come he doesn’t understand these economic laws?”
Milton: “Because he does not want to. He had lately again one of his Freudian slips, stating “we have this messy democracy”. This was a similar slip as “spreading the wealth”. Obviously, he prefers absolute majority like in a totalitarian state so that he can do what he wants. If he can’t get his way in Congress, he circumvents the system by ordering regulations through executive orders. This damages the economy and stifles investment and that’s exactly what he wants. He wants to drive the economy down and make the larger segment of the population dependent on his state intervention, although he doesn’t say that in public. He continues his utopian class warfare rhetoric to achieve it, and hopes it will assure his re-election and one party rule.”
Hank: “I agree. To prevent this, voters need a charismatic conservative leader, and if the conservative movement does not offer one, the socialists may win again to the country’s detriment. That’s why they do their utmost to discredit the American revolt that has been called the Tea Party. This was originally an American revolt against excessive British taxation. Now it’s an American revolt against excessive American taxation and debt, and the media discredits it. Where’s their logic?”
Milton: “It’s going to be a rough fight because conservative movements tend to have strong opposition from that powerful media. The influential moguls that own them have vested interests in driving the economy down to short the markets and make tons of money in precious metals and commodity swings. In addition, socialists use trench fighter tactics to get votes as we saw with Acorn and now again with “Project Vote”, which are known for voter fraud. At present there are some good conservative speakers who say the right things, but no one has yet reached sufficient critical mass to stop this devilish machine.”
Mars Man: “Do you believe then that the current USA Administration will be re-elected?”
Milton: “In my view no, despite all their money and trench fighting tactics. It will be hard to turn the current economy around in the remaining year in the reigning negative investment climate and continued high unemployment rates. Only in a totalitarian state can a statist administration remain in power under such circumstances. An American administration has never been re-elected when the economy is down. That was the main reason why the Republicans lost in 2008, and why they won in 1980 with President Reagan.”
Hank: “I would not underestimate Obama and his clique. He has got the charisma and is still liked more than Congress. His support is in the tax-free mob class and the selfish media. Again, much depends on the credibility and strength of the conservative opponent. A large segment of the electorate thinks wrongly it has no stake in economic investment and is keen on keeping their comfortable but unsustainable prerogatives unchanged. That is the danger. We have seen that with the riots in Greece, France, Italy and England. If the opposition says it is going to curb those vested interests, the administration will inflame their excitable mob crowds of labor unions, teacher unions and outright anarchists like in Wisconsin and the media will only be too happy to cover it widely. Conservatives will have a hard time convincing those voters.
Mars Man: “What would be the consequences of the regime’s continuation?”
Milton: “They will break the country’s back, as they have done before to so many other countries that are limping now. France and England are good examples. The reality is that these voters are short term thinkers and won’t change for the better. This is why the opponent’s credibility is of so much importance for majority support. Margaret Thatcher and Reagan were able to win and turn it around, despite socialist resistance supported by the media, but leaders like them don’t come up every time.”
Mars Man: “Do you think a third party or third candidate in the USA could win?”
Hank: “It’s never worked. First, the Tea Party is not a party but a revolt of people across party lines. Because Tea Party people are those who are paying taxes they are likely to be mostly on the conservative side, and would vote for a Republican rather than a spend thrift Democrat who has slipped to the left. Second, none of the current conservative candidates have the strength for a successful independent run.”
Mars Man: “Not even your billion dollar icon Donald Trump?”
Hank: “He says he may run as an independent, but he overlooks the fact that you cannot run a government like a business because of the many divergent groups a country has and the political and judiciary system it is based on. He makes good points, but you have to work within the national and international systems to achieve your goals and if your approaches are too singular, and his are, voters will not elect you. In other words, as happened before, an independent candidate would only ensure the continuation of the incumbent administration.”
Mars Man: “Dr. Kisshanger and Professor Friedmayer, many thanks to both of you as you have enlightened our Mars community with a clear view of Planet Earth’s conflicting views. Let’s meet again soon.”
Kathryn of Omaha TV: “Dear viewers, thanks for watching us. In our next broadcast we will show Mars Man’s interview with Lu Kung Si, China’s US representative, in his office at the Empire State Building in New York. Till soon.”